Alternate uniforms have been en vogue for quite some time, from the NFL to the NBA, from college basketball to college football - North Carolina, Virginia Tech, Georgia, and Tennessee all wore them in the last two weeks to varying degrees of success.  But there are teams that appear to be immune to the fads of sports fashion and impervious to the pressures of hulking apparel sponsors.  Oregon is not one of those teams.  But Ohio State appeared to be. Until now.

Pat Forde mentioned it earlier this week and some brief scouring of message boards reveals the image to out left.  Are the Buckeyes about to break out new jerseys to help their mojo? It bears mentioning that other than pictures appearance on an Ohio State-related site, there is no evidence to suggest that it was designed to be worn by THE Ohio State University, say, during a game against Penn State, in early November, three days now.  None.  It could belong to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for all I know.

Is that a ‘Block O’ at the bottom of the neck?  [/sigh]

Let’s just assume that this is, in fact, the “alternate” road uniform the Buckeyes are going to trot out on Saturday afternoon.  It’s bad, to be sure.  But what about the pants?  Are those going to be red?!  That could be a pure disaster.

I have already pontificated about the meaningless, derivative, and largely uncool “red” end zones.  If these uniforms happen, I may lose it.  Is anyone at Ohio State paying attention?  How would this get past the people that it has to get past?

This is not to say that I oppose all things outside the bounds of the norm.  I think retro uniforms could be amazingly cool, perhaps even inspirational for the team.  And there is plenty for the program to draw from (see below).  What about the 1954 unis, with some appropriate updates (like a face mask, for example)?  I think Tressel would go for that and it would not look like a rejection from a UFL trunk sale.

Update (3:15pm): 1460 just read a statement from Nike that did not confirm or deny the possibility of alternate uniforms.  Apparently The Fan contacted Nike for a comment and the following was provided: “We are always looking for ways to innovate and inspire - so stay tuned.”

Intro: Work and life circumstances have conspired against these past two weeks and kept me from doing any thing else on time.  As a result, the preview is only getting up now.  It does not help that this is Indiana week and the anticipated threat level is green.

Factoids: Ohio State has won 15 straight Big Ten road games, 2 short of the all time league record.  The last loss was the 17-10 loss at Penn State in 2005. Michigan owns the record of 17 straight road wins from 1988-1992 … Ohio State has won 14 straight over the Hoosiers dating to 1988 … The Buckeyes have back-to-back shutouts for the first time since 1996 … Indiana hasn’t been within single digits of Buckeyes since 1993, a span of 12 games … Hoosiers run defense ranks second in the Big Ten, trailing only Penn State, at 94.2 yards per game.

What the Internut is saying:

• Mr. Sassy Ballot gives you some players to watch tonight.
• Indiana has a lot of work to do if they are going change history tonight.
• The Crimson Quarry gives us a brief look at tonight’s matchup.
• Today is the biggest day in Big Ten Network history.  If they say so.
• Other, more punctual, blogs have previews: 11W, WWAHT, O-Zone

Weekly rant: It may come as surprise to you, but I tend to think highly of Ohio State’s football program.  And that goes for the entire program - the team, coaches, and stadium.  Especially Ohio Stadium.  The problem is, it does not appear that it is getting the respect it deserves.  It is on the National Register of Historic Places.  So, why is the field painted like a high school stadium (or Indiana’s Memorial Stadium)?  I dislike the synthograss, but I can live with it.  But why not paint the plastic so that it looks good?  Like Florida State, with color up to the 25-yard lines?  If it is good enough for the Rose Bowl, it should be good enough for Ohio Stadium. And, is it true that there is no gray on the field because it cost extra?  So all we get is red, white, and black trim?  Ick.  Ohio State athletics generate revenue in excess of $100M.  Take a little extra and give the field a paint job worthy of the best college football stadium in the country and a building on the NRHP.  I will save the horrific scoreboard announcing for another week.  [/rant]

Ohio State offense v. Indiana defense: Don’t be fooled.  The Hoosiers are currently 4th in the league in total defense, but their average is actually closer to the 10th place team than the first place team.  While it is certainly possible that Indiana is better than usual, they didn’t exactly crush their way through a horrendous non-conference schedule.  They struggled in each game against Eastern Kentucky, Western Michigan, and Akron.  Pryor should have no problem throwing against an IU defense that gave up 4 pass plays of 25+ yards last week (that is half of Michigan’s season total).  If the receivers are as available as the statistics suggest, Saine should have plenty of room to roam.  If he gets 17 or more carries, he will be the first Ohio State running back to gain 100 yards rushing this season (I cannot believe I typed that before week 5!).  Indiana did allow four scoring drives of 60 yards or more last week.

Indiana offense v. Ohio State defense: The Hoosiers are getting a lot of credit because of their close, high-scoring loss to Michigan but things were not good before that game.  The Hoosiers scored on 7 of their 14 possessions last weekend with another ending in a missed FG. Not bad, but there were too many field goals mixed in.  In fact, Indiana is last in red zone touchdown percentage.

IU has a semi-veteran offensive line, but Chappell will still get tons of pressure all night.  Even without Kurt Coleman, Ohio State’s nickel package will be more than enough to slow down Indiana’s spread attack.  Ohrian Johnson has been elevated to the nickel back although do not be surprised if you see 3 cornerbacks - Chekwa, Torrence, Amos - in there at the same time.

(Quick) Key matchups: Adams & Shugarts & Miller v. Jammie Kirlew & Greg Middleton.   I am thinking the same thing you are: how good could Indiana’s DEs be?  Well, these two are supposed to be decent and this is the first conference road game for Ohio State’s first-time starters.

Why Ohio State will win: Chappell is statue in the backfield and redshirt freshman Darius Willis is not keeping Heacock and Fickell awake at night. Ohio State will get an early lead and force the Hoosiers to throw more often.  Even down a defensive captain, that should be a task the Buckeye can handle.

“Have to have it” factor: 5 out of 10.  It only gets half up because I really want the all-time road wins records, which is totally achievable with Purdue up next.

Final thought: If you are looking for an fun and easy football road trip, Bloomington is your destination.  The drive is easy, the likelihood of a win is high, there is a small percentage of asshole fans, and the girls are generally regarded as high caliber. Really, it is a no brainer.

Every Tuesday at lunch, Chef Tress sits down with the media and holds his weekly press conference.  There are a lot of questions and answers, and a lot gets said.  Here is our weekly look at what was “unsaid” by both reporters and Tressel.  We try to read Tressel’s mind … er, between the lines.

Tressel [referring to the defensive effort and the pressure on Opelt]: I’ve probably not seen more throwaways in a game than I saw in that game and obviously the young man was well coached. If there’s nothing there, don’t just throw it up for grabs, and he didn’t. He threw it out of bounds a number of times[.]

Reading between the lines: God, I hope Terrelle was watching that because the next time he gets pressured, get shuffle feet, and throws a jump pass for an interception I am going to body slam the nearest headphone holder.  I mean, jesus, what is that move?  It is not all that often that he receives enough pressure that he needs to throw the ball away so it should be easy for him to recognize that moment.  Obviously, we need to practice that and whatnot.

T: We didn’t have a Jack Tatum hit candidate this particular week and we had some guys do a good job on the scout team.

BTL: They barely had enough plays down field downfield for our guys to make plays. Seriously, I think their longest play was about 28 yards.  You can imagine how hard it is to get a big hit when the other team averages 1 yard per carry.  Our defensive line was gobbling those muthas up so fast that Jermales, Kurt, and B-Rolle barely had a chance to warm up those shoulder pads.  I am not complaining, though.  It is nice to get a gimme every now and ago.

T: And then Chris Fields, wide receiver from Painesville Harvey, I think Chris is going to be a good player. I told Darrell Hazelland those guys more than once that Chris reminds me of the way that Santonio looked as a freshman. I think Chris Fields is going to be a good football player and we’ll see if he gets to the Santonio Holmes level. Santonio obviously climbed, but at this moment, I’ve got a lot of good feel about what he’s going to become.

BTL: This kid is going to be sick.  Remember, when I almost played Santonio against Miami in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl?  Well, I did.  And, then by the end of the next season against Kansas State he was clearly our best player.  Man, those were the good old days.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, as long as Chris can manage to not get arrested until after he is drafted, we will be cool.

Let’s take some questions…

T [regarding the offensive line play and false starts]: Well, we’ve got to go off on the count, but I thought J.B. did some good things. He’s a young guy playing a tough position. These ends, as we head into Big Ten play, are going to be good ones, but he’s got to progress, as does Mike, as does Andrew. We’ve probably still, in our minds, are thinking that Corey Linsley and Marcus Hall may redshirt, but we’ll just have to keep playing along, because we think that we can be contributors as we go, but they’ve got to keep getting better.

BTL: If they are getting anxious against the Shprockets, they are going to be eaten alive in Happy Valley, I don’t care how many injuries they have.  Do you remember Tamba Hali in 2005?  I guarantee you that Troy does.  Ouch!  Man, he blew right past Kirk Barton on that play.  Whew, bad times.

REPORTER: Did Jordan Hall impress you in his late game running there and how much will that earn him more playing time?

T: You know, Jordan’s been impressive since he’s been here. He’s a hard-nosed kid, studies the game, has done well running the football every chance he’s gotten, so now that we’ve seen him in a game, obviously it makes it easier to put him into a game, but, no, he’s going to be a good player. He’s a tough oh he’s a tough kid.

BTL: Seriously, I just want one guy to step up and play well at tailback.  I don’t care who it is or what year he graduates.  We thought Boom was that guy this season but I think he is barely averaging 2 yards a carry.  It just seems like he runs to contact, like he is looking to engage the defender.  It is weird.  I will not even mention all the short yardage runs he has failed on.  Ick.  Obviously, that is upsetting.  So, yes, Jordan Hall; step right up and take as many snaps as you can handle.  We’re dying over here.

REPORTER: As honorary captain, will Coach Bruce give the pregame speech?

T: Yes. Our honorary captain always addresses the squad at the pregame meal because it’s too late once we get to the locker room.

BTL: Yes, he will address the team and, yes, he will likely scare them and reinforce all stereotypes of the elderly in society. Have you heard him speak recently.  Whoa!  This is going to be hilarious…I mean, inspirational.

Intro: Let me walk you through the past week of my life, sponsored by Kubler Ross.

SUNDAY MORNING - MONDAY MORNING
Denial: “This is bullsh*t! We stopped them on fourth and goal! Surely, they are still going to review that play, retroactively revoke the touchdown and provide Ohio State with a first-of-its-kind, ex-post facto win,  thus ushering in a new era of college football where every team has an assistant video assistant and a lobbyist.  Didn’t we block a punt and kick a 53-yard FG?!  Arrrrggggghhhhhhhhh!!!”

MONDAY EVENING - TUESDAY AFTERNOON
Anger: As I scribbled “I hate everything” on a spreadsheet during an early morning budget meeting on Tuesday a member of the marketing team shot me an odd look and scooted her chair an extra 6 inches away from me.  It was that moment I realized my natural bodily scent had shifted from musk to rage.  I also heard murmurs around the office that I had changed my email signature to “They need an F@#*ing offensive coordinator”; I can neither confirn nor deny that statement.  By Tuesday’s drive home, though, I was feeling better.  Hence…

TUESDAY EVENING - WEDNESDAY MORNING
Bargaining: “Okay, as long as Ohio State wins their remaining games, gets back into the title hunt, and builds towards a huge 2010, I can live through this.  That and Pryor learns to pass.  Oh yeah, and Tressel realizes that he wants to spend more time with his family and hires an offensive coordinator.  In fact, who wouldn’t make this deal?  Yeah, 2010 is going to be sweet!”  [Stage right (voice): Honey, are you okay?  You have been arguing with an open refrigerator for a couple of minutes now.  "Beer me!" Exit stage left (me)]

WEDNESDAY EVENING - THURSDAY EVENING
Depression/Acceptance:  These really came on together.  You know, “This sucks, I guess I am always going to feel this way.”  “Is it only Wednesday?  It feels like Cooper’s first season.”  The depression mercifully waned sometime during my sleep Wednesday night.  Thursday’s unopposed “Acceptance” arrived wrapped in purple euphoria (sans glitter) and involved my delivery of many unannounced fist pumps accompanied by the extremely descriptive “Rock!“ I felt 10-years old again (in a good way).

By the time I exited stage 5 on Thursday evening I was lucky to have a job, my right shoulder hurt from the aforementioned fist pumping, but I was totally calm about this game.  Think about it.  The atmosphere will be sterile as it is not on Toledo’s campus (inexplicably), and Buckeyes’ fans are not traveling in droves to attend what they most likely view as a crappy away game on one the few remaining nice Saturday afternoons.  I bet, “I’m playing golf instead” is a common response to inquiries regarding game attendance this week.  Ohio State may be mentally exhausted and thinking ahead to Illinois and revenge on the Juicer.  Meanwhile, the ghost of the undead Tom Amstutz will be patrolling the Toledo sideline, and taking up most of it by the way, while the new TU head coach is looking to prove himself against his friend and former boss. Many are saying the Buckeyes are ripe to get picked off this weekend!  That cannot happen.

What the world wide internoodle is saying:

• These teams have played once before when the greatest Buckeyes’ team I have seen won 49-0
• Orson and Holly are taking Toledo and the points
• Doug Lesmerises attempts to wear his voice-of-reason hat for once; he also ranks Ohio State 25th.  Really?
• Other previews: Ozone, 11W, The Rocket Report

Weekly rant: I am so sick of fans managing expectations before every single game.  When did every Ohio State fan turn into a Lou Holtz?  Last week it was “I just hope we don’t get blown out.”  Ick.  This week I am hearing people, “Toledo is pretty good.  Have you seen that quarterback?  They run the spread!”  Bull and shit.

I even saw one blog said that Toledo “brings it” on defense.  Oh really?  They bring it to the tune of allowing 500 yards per game against below average competition.  They surrendered 315 rushing yards to Purdue (not a typo).  Remember Purdue?  Basketball on grass?  Do you know the last time Purdue gained that many running yards?  Too long ago for stats.  They turned around and gave up 356 passing yards to Colorado.  Nice.

Listen everyone, Toledo lost 52-31 to the Boilermakers and were down 45-14 in the third quarter.  This is Ohio effing State.  You need to expect to beat Purdue 52-21, let alone Toledo.   I know the Vegas line is only Ohio State -20, but that does not mean the Buckeyes should not be up by 35 at some point in this game.  I don’t care what the final score is, it’s the total destruction that counts.  It is time for the Buckeyes to start breathing fire.  It is time for them to start decapitating opposing teams.  It is time for them to impose their will on the other team.

I am not sure where and how this attitude from fans developed but I swear it is beginning to permeate the team.  Expect to win!  Expect to dominate!  Stop setting the bar so low.  [/rant]

OSU Offense v. Toledo Defense: This should be like shooting putty in a barrel.  Herron and Saine should look like LDT.  Pryor should look like Vince Young.  Even the tight ends should catch passes.  I don’t care if Cordle is out the offensive line can never struggle, not for one play.  250 rushing yards is a must.  Pryor’s completion percentage needs to hover near 70-percent.

If the Buckeyes do not gain 500 yards this weekend, the entire university should be embarrassed.

Toledo Offense v. OSU Defense: The defense looks like it may be top 5 by the end of the year.  Heyward is gaining on unblockable. The front four was crazy good against a very talented USC offensive line.  Even Chekwa, who I have dogged, looked good as he bottled up Damian Williams most of the night. Tootsie Rolle is on fire.  Sure, these dink and dunk spread attacks have given Ohio State some minor heartburn in the past and the defense did poor its soul onto the field last Saturday night, which would suggest the opportunity for a letdown.  I don’t see it.

There is no point in talking about matchups or schemes in the game.  Ohio State should win every single battle tomorrow.  No questions asked.

(Quick) Key Matchups: Pryor v. his shoulder pads.  Unless he is unable to get into his uniform for some reason this should be his greatest statistical game by far.  Nothing else even makes sense.

“Have to have it!” factor (a.k.a. Alarmist factor): 1 out of 10.  I fully expect a thrashing in the CBS.

Final line: Ohio State will be mentally ready but Pryor needs to engineer some easy points and the defense cannot rest on their laurels.  He will and they won’t.

Overwhelmed by work and laziness this week, today I present to you the teaser version of your weekend viewing guide.  Rest assured, it will be updated for this weekend, which incidentally offers a very nice slate of games.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17

(14)Georgia Tech v. (20)Miami
7:30pm, ESPN
Chris Fowler, Craig James, Jesse Palmer, Erin Andrews

Thursday night college football used to be the exclusive province of also-ran leagues like the WAC and MWC.  You could still make that argument now as it is relatively dominated by the ACC.  The league will have six Thursday night games this season if you count N.C. State’s season opener.

Tonight’s game features two of the league’s “best” teams and the winner will have a leg up in the Coastal Division race.  Each team has played a tough game, although GT was probably not expecting such a stern test from Clemson, so you would expect each squad to have worked some kinks out.  The weird thing for Miami is that they have not played a game in 10 days and could oddly be rusty only two weeks into the season.  In fact, after tonight these teams will have only played 1 out of 5 of their collective games on Saturday.

The oddsmakers like the Hurricanes tonight at home and if they can get off to a fast start tonight you have to like their chances as Tech QB, Josh Nesbitt, is having a horrific passing season - 9 for 25 for 224 yards and 2 interceptions.  It is hard to imagine that the Yellow Jackets could come from behind.  Roddy Jones has to get more than 5 touches tonigyt if GT is going to win.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18

(10)Boise State v. Fresno State
9:00pm,  ESPN
Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore

If you read my recent BlogPoll you know I am not a huge fan of the mid-majors, which is why I will watch this game and recommend you do the same.  Boise State is getting a lot of love right now after their win against a fairly pedestrian Oregon team (yes, I know I ranked the Ducks in the Top 10 to start the season) but Fresno may provide a more stern test.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19

[Insert weekly rant about noon games here].

(11)Ohio State v. Toledo
12:00pm, Gameplan or a local affiliate in 17 areas
Michael Reghi, Doug Chapman

All things being equal, this is a nice way to start the day especially after the marathon that was last Saturday.  You can get early, cut the grass, head to the gym, or do whatever you need to do to appease your wife before plopping down to watch 12 straight hours of football.  This could be an exciting game depending on Ohio State’s level of interest and execution.  Honestly, I have never heard of these announcers so you may want to mute that 60-incher and listen to Jim Lachey stumble all over the place.  Seriously, I once heard Lachey say that Alonzo Spellman had great vertical height.  Really?

(8)California v. Minnesota
12:00pm, ESPN
Dave Pasch, Bob Griese, Chris Spielman

Is there anyone out that can explain to me how this came to be a noon start?  Doesn’t California have a say in the start time?  Doesn’t Minnesota have any decency?  You would think that Minny would what to give their fans a chance to get their roll on before the nation’s best running back starts tearing off huge chunks of yards. Alas, this is ostensibly a breakfast meeting for the Bears.  Luckily for Gophers fans liquor sales start at 8:00am on Saturdays.  The only real benefactor of this asinine scheduling is you the television viewing public because it offers a nice flip game and the opportunity to see Best and Cal play at least once this season.

The 3:30pm time slot is perhaps the most stacked of the season.  There are literally 6 games worth watching depending on your biases and allegiances.  There is a nice mix of conference and non-conference games as well as intriguing storylines to follow.

For the first time this season the coverage maps come into play, which means that Gameplan would likely be handy unless you have DIRECTV (like moi) which provides “ESPN Alternative” stations with the other regional games.  I am not sure why they do it, but it renders Gameplan virtually obsolete.  Anyway, if you are in central Ohio you are basically getting hosed.  If you were hoping to watch Nebraska/VT, move to Dayton because you are getting the Iowa game here.  It is a rare moment when the coverage map looks like anything other than four quarters each painted a different color.  But this weekend, there is some crazy action going in Ohio, Missouri, and Florida.

Tennessee v. (1)Florida
3:30pm, CBS
Verne Lundquist, Gary Danielson, Tracy Wolfson

I totally expect Florida to cover the 30-point line or whatever it is now.  And, it is not just because Meyer wants to gut Kiffin like a carp.  It is because the Gators are almost always the better team.  In fact, they have won more than two-thirds of the games against the Vols since the mid-50s.  The only thing Tennessee has that is better than Florida is their endzone paint.  So, why is this your #1 option on Saturday when there are half a dozen good ones?  For all the reasons just stated, plus it is the first CBS game of the season and there is something really cool about the lone SEC game on during the day.  It just elevates it out of the fray.

(19)Nebraska v. (13)Virginia Tech
3:30pm, ABC
Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Holly Rowe

I am going to level with you guys; before doing some insignificant and ultimately unhelpful research on this game, I coudl not name one offensive player for the Huskers.  Not one.  I had also completely forgotten that they played last season.  Because of my complete lack of recognition and recollection, I am making this the top flipper at this slot.  That, and the fact that it is the only Top 25 matchup of the day.

Michigan State v. Notre Dame
3:30pm, NBC
Tom Hammond, Pat Haden, Alex Flanagan

Remember when Notre Dame tried to be different by playing their games at 2:30pm EST?  Now, they try to be different by having the worst announcing team on television coupled some of the poorest production value around.  Tom Hammond would be considered the poor man’s Verne Lundquist is he were midly entertaining and seemed like he cared even a little about the game.    Is this the same network that has Sunday Night Football?  You would not know except for the watermark.  Anyway, this is an acceptable flip game in place of MSU/ND in the event you have some sick affinity for the Irish or, god forbid, the Spartans.

(3)USC v. Washington
3:30pm, ABC
Terry Gannon, David Norrie, Quint Kessenich

For those of you hoping to see USC have another colossal letdown the week after the Ohio State, this is the game for you.  It is also a chance to watch the USC team you didn’t see because Aaron Corp is going to be the quarterback after the Buckeyes beat the crap out of Barkley.  Are two former USC coordinators and a dual-threat QB enough to derail the Trojans?  The Beavers did it with far less last season.

Remote drive-bys include Arizona v. Iowa and (18)Utah v. Oregon, and you could actually sub these two in for the latter two above.  Extended viewing, however, of these games is generally discouraged.  Dedicated readers know we only advocate having a main game and flip game.  When you try to watch more than two games you end up watching none.

Florida State v. (7)BYU
7:00pm, Versus
Joe Beninati, Glenn Parker, Lindy Thackson

In the BlogPoll Roundtable, I picked this as one of the games I am most interested in this weekend and I meant it.  If the Florida State offense that showed up against Miami makes an appearance in Provo it could be a long night for the Cougars defense.  Now, the flip side is that BYU’s may have some success against the Seminoles.  The game could not line up any better for BYU because it comes at home, after a tune-up against Tulane, and against a nationally recognized program.  It is the ultimate “prove it” moment.  It could be a lot of pressure for BYU.

(23)Georgia v. Arkansas
7:30pm, ESPN
Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Erin Andrews

I have not paid any attention to Ryan Mallett and the Hogs but somehow they are a 1-point fave in the tilt.  This could presage a big power shift to the SEC West if Petrino’s gang pulls this off.  I will probably keep it locked on the FSU game unless it is out of control and then flip over for the final quarter of this one if I can.

Texas Tech v. (2)Texas
8:00pm, ABC
Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Lisa Salters

I don’t see anyway that this game remains close for more than one quarter.  It is okay if you want to flip to this one instead of the Hogs and Dawgs but I would not expect too much.  Hey, look at it this way: at least you can go to sleep an hour earlier this week.

The least you should know:

• Ohio State and USC have played 22 times.  USC leads the series 12-9-1.
• USC has won its last nine games against the Big Ten and has not lost a non-conference game since 2002.
• Here is the Ohio State Media Guide preview for the game.

What the Internoodle is saying:

• Dr. Saturday talks about Ohio State and sweet Lou Holtz.
• Scouts, Inc. breaks down the game as only they can (subscription needed).
• More ESPN bloggers spout off.
• Predictably, Stewart Mandel hearts Matt Barkley.

They have television on computers now:

Weekly rant: Enough negativity already!  We all know OSU lost in 2008, but was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!  Listen, this is going to be a tough game but when I read quotes from freshman offensive linemen about how Columbus has turned against them there is a problem.

Ohio State is not going to win this game if the fans and crowd are going to become a bunch quiet, sissy naysayers the first time USC converts a third down.  If that is your attitude then you need to stay home.  If we quiet down like so many USC players predict it will do as much harm to the OSU players as it will help the Trojans.  This is going to be a war and wars are not over until you are dead or you surrender.  So far this week, I have met way too many folks who have already surrendered (everyone has been alive).

Get drunk if you have to.  Go for a 5 mile run. Do what you gotta do so you are ready for this game!  Ohio Stadium needs to be louder than Penn State 2002 or Texas 2005.

A Dios rogando y con el mazo dando.

Look it up.

[/rant over]

Matchup Intro: This matchup has everything to do with what goes on between the ears as it does with what goes on between the sidelines. With the lone exception of Vince Young and Texas, USC has had the distinct advantage in this department against every elite team they face.  It starts with their coach, who apparently shows up to practice everyday in a grass skirt holding a ukulele instead of a whistle and has Will Ferrell and Snoop Dogg hanging around practice.  His teams play loose in every game and treat each opponent like another day at the office.  ”No big deal, dude.”

Ohio State needs to channel its inner California, while simultaneously playing with the biggest chip you can imagine on their shoulders.  As mentioned above, Ohio State needs to be nasty.  As the old-schoolers say, “We have to punch them in the mouth.”  Tressel needs to break out that Hawaiian shirt again along with that devilish grin because the Buckeyes have to win the attitude battle and be as nasty as possible.  I don’t care if it is 5 seconds after this whistle, somebody needs to deck Barkley on his opening possession.  I will take the 15-yard penalty.  Remember when FSU best Florida in the regular season finale by repeatedly punishing Danny Wuerffel?  I want that type of recklessness.

Aside from the above referenced comment, I think the Buckeyes are handling things in the media this week.  USC (and its former players) are doing plenty of talking while you have barely heard a peep form the Buckeyes.  Hopefully, the Buckeyes are too focused on winning the battle in the trenches to talk trash.  The “us against the world” mentality has to be brewing in that locker room and that is a very good thing.

OSU Offense v. USC Defense: We could talk about some fancy Xs and Os until we are blue in the face, but I think the Ohio State offense performance comes down to one thing: first down.  If Ohio State is going to have a productive offensive game it needs to get 3-4 yards on first down.  When they are not productive on first down, they lose.  I don’t care how they get those yards - I-formation, quarterback draw, or fake punt - they just have to get them.  Second and 6 is Pryor’s best friend.  Any time USC knows what is coming, they have a great chance of stopping it.

The only specific play that I believe is necessary are long passing plays and opportunities are there even with Taylor Mays roaming the secondary.  Do you know how many interceptions Mr. Badass has last season?  Zero.  He may hurt his own teammates but he does not appear to be super in pass coverage.  Hell, even Anderson Russell, who has innate ability to hesitate and a killer set of Braylonhands found a few last year, but the biggest, baddest safety since Tatum (honorary captain this week-by the way) can’t get one? Rhymes with shmoverrated?  If the Buckeyes can hit some big passes early on or just convince USC that they are capable of doing so, it will open up the middle of the field for the backs and Pryor to run as well as the tight ends to catch short passes.

Here’s another thing that has to happen: all crucial plays need to be put into Pryor’s hands.  Fourth-and-1: designed QB run.  Third-and-12: QB roll out.  The coaches spent a year of their life trying to convince Pryor to come to OSU now they have to put it all in his hands.  No questions asked.

USC Offense v. OSU Defense: We are all aware of what the Buckeyes need to do tomorrow: get pressure on the quarterback (whether with the defensive line or through creative blitzes), win the turnover margin, and must stop the slow down their running game (you cannot realistically hope to stop it).  But, I think that philosophy applies to every game, though.

Listen, McKnight scares the living Biakabutuka out of me and the anointing of Marinovich Jr. as the most precocious QB since, well…ever makes me sick.  I know talk is cheap, the Bucks must sell out to stop the run and let Matt “I am a not a role model for those who value humility and decency” Barkley beat them.  If he can, the Buckeyes may be in for a long night. If he can’t, they may be sitting pretty.  Don’t forget, Barkley threw 23 picks as a senior in high school, which strongly suggests he has a tendancy to spray the ball around.

Don’t put too much stock into the performance against Navy last week.  That is not to say that Ohio State is going to shut down USC.  Likewise, it is not a sign they will be lit up with multiple 85-yard passes.  Just know that Navy’s offense was a very good test and the defense was not taking the day off last weekend.  That has to be a good thing.

(Quick) key matchups: Gibson and Heyward v.  USC O-line: If these two horses can cause some problems for the USC line like they did against Texas the Buckeyes will be in a good place in the fourth quarter.

OSU WRs v. USC secondary: Posey, Sanzenbacher, and Carter need to display sure hands and a knack to slip a few tackles.  They do not need to break a 40-yard run every catch but they will be counted on to move the chains.

“Have to have it!” factor (a.k.a. Hate factor): 10 out of everything.  This may be the most important game in Ohio Stadium in a long time.

Final line: This will be a competitive game with 5:00 to go and a huge play on special teams will make the difference.

It is the best of weekends, it is the worst of weekends…

College football is known as a cyclical game; the success of teams and conferences ebbs and flows over time while offensive and defensive systems go in and out of fashion.  The schedule is different on a weekly basis.  One weekend will be chalked full of great matchups while another will appear to be almost entirely devoid quality games.  This weekend appears to the latter, which is good.  We’ll explain.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

Clemson v. (15)Georgia Tech
7:30pm, ESPN
Chris Fowler, Jesse Palmer, Craig James, Erin Andrews

First things first, the NFL kicks off tonight opposite this game so that is a huge distraction.  I cannot say this game will get my full attention.

In case you have did not get enough of the triple option last weekend, you can check out the father of Navy’s attack tonight.  This game is historically close with 6 of the last 9 games being decided by less than 4 points, which incidentally is the Vegas line.  There are other non-gambling reasons to watch this one, too.  Jonathan Dwyer (GT) and CJ Spiller (CLM) both tore of ginormous runs on their first touches last weekend - Spiller had a 96-yard kickoff return and Dwyer took the opening play 74 yards for a score.  As even as that matchup sounds, the addition of Nesbitt and Roddy Jones make GT far more versatile.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11

Colorado v. Toledo
9:00pm, ESPN
Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham

By this time on Friday, you will likely be crouched in your fortified bunker/basement surrounded by stacks of canned food and dozens of AA batteries.  Accordingly, this will be your only outlet for an overly intense football focus.  All you need to do is pretend either one of these is relevant.  Did you see either one play last weekend?  Easier said than done.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12

You will likely wake up at sun up with a clenched fist and blood pressure somewhere north of really high. You will need to watch football, badly, but you will not have attention span to pay attention to anything other than the endless promos for the Ohio State game.  In that sense, it is a good thing that the noon slot is pure garbage.  You could not concentrate anyway.

Think of the noon slot as an educational endeavor.  Penn State takes on a Syracuse squad that was awfully pesky for Minnesota last weekend.  Granted that was in the Carrier Dome (and it was against Minny) but it will be interesting to see if the ‘Cuse is able to put up any kind of fight this weekend. Ditto for Central Michigan.

Syracuse v. (7)Penn State
12:00pm, Big Ten Network
Craig Coshun, Glen Mason, Kenny Jackson

This game is more of a referendum on Minnesota than a judgment of Penn State.  (Is Minnesota that horrible?  Is that a rhetorical question?) You will find out in a hurry if Penn State hangs 4 first half touchdowns on SU.  The Nittany Lions dominated the Orange last season 55-13, so a similar beating should signal decent things for Penn State and horrific results for Minnesota.  Or, maybe Minny was looking forward to the ass-whipping they will get from California this week as they open their new (and very nice) outdoor stadium.

Central Michigan v. Michigan State
12:00pm, ESPN2
Pam Ward, Ray Bentley

I always give you a flip game so I will follow through with it here as well, but there is almost no reason why you should watch this game.  I mean, Ohio State does not even play MSU this season.  In all honesty, I think it is best to stay away from the this mess.

Drive-bys in desperation at noon include Breakfast in Madison a.k.a. the Fresno State v. Wisconsin game and, um…who am I kidding.  If you find these games totally unpalatable (and no one would blame you if you do) you can watch the U.S. Open Men’s semifinals, or just go to the gym and burn off some of that nervous energy.

Finally, things start to get a little interesting at 3:30pm.  But, just as you are getting ready to watch a classic rivalry attempt to resuscitate itself you realize that you need to head down to Woody Hayes Drive and make sure everyone is drinking their beer out of a plastic cup.  That way, Ohio State fans and tailgaters alike can double their carbon footprint by throwing out thousands of cans and cups that held that exact same beer.  The USC/OSU tailgate may be the least environmentally friendly tailgate in the country this season.  Anyway, I digress.

(18)Notre Dame v. Michigan
3:30pm, ABC
Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Holly Rowe

Oh yeah, ND/UM.  If you do watch, and you should if you are at home, you will see two radically different offenses from last season and by that I mean two offenses that will not make you sick to your stomach.  You could make a sincere argument that Michigan has the better athletes and with a little execution this game could be theirs.

UCLA v. Tennessee
4:00pm, ESPN
Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Erin Andrews

This is easily the most hateful game of the day (and possibly season) with Lane Kiffin and Rick Neuheisal squaring off.  UT looked better than most thought and everyone wanted, so they appear to have the edge on a UCLA team that is still trying to get used to a season without dozens of catastrophic injuries.  The nice part of this flip game is that it is  half an hour behind the Michigan game so you will not have to sit through the clown college that is John Saunders half time babble.

South Carolina v. (21)Georgia
7:00pm, ESPN
Mike Patrick, Craig James, Heather Cox

This time slot is the lone nice thing that ESPN has given college football fans.  It fills that void between the late afternoon games and the nightcap with a real contest.  Sure, this may end up being 6-3 boredom festival but it is a conference game with legitimate implications, which is more than can be said about virtually any other game on Saturday.

(3)USC v. (8)Ohio State
8:00pm, ESPN
ESPN: Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Lisa Salters
ESPN 3D: Mark Jones, Bob Davie, Ed Cunningham

Some of you will be watching this one in 3D, which sounds pretty spooky.  If any of you do see this one on the big screen with funny plastic glasses, I implore you to provide a full review the following day or at whatever time your eyes and mind recover from watching a 20-foot Terrelle Pryor gallop around the theater.  How can that not be cool?